Together I have grown!: October 2010

Able to Stand.

I think for the majority my life. My family and friends had no idea what I was up against. I didn't even know what I was up against. They were always quick to say, she is rebelious. She has problems. She needs help. She needs to get things right. Make better choices. When it all came down to, I wasn't even diagnosed right. We as a society think we know what is best for everyone else but ourselves. When are we going to sit down and fix us. I thought of diffrent ways of getting my information out. Letting people out there know there are resources, there are people out there with the same conditions, women, men, mothers, fathers, girls, boys, daughter, sons, children. IT IS OK. IT IS OK TO GET HELP. The will to stand is all in yourself. If you are willing you are able.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Distance!

Distance- We all need space, we all need time to get to know ourselfs. To take time to allow ourselves the opportunity to feel things that only we know. Ponder on those emotions. Take one day at a time. Trust in that relationship between us and our Heavenly Father, our Creator. To take a moment in time.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Gratitude!

Thank you! We can write about gratitude, we can talk about gratitude, but we need to act and show our gratitude not only for the things we have but for those we have, how they contribute in our life, our family, friends neighbors, leaders. I just want to thank so many for so much. For those who have made an influence in my life.

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What makes me me!

I have never in my life felt so complete until I was a mother.

How much enjoyment, sacrifice and complete unconditional love came into my life. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday intrusting me to become a mom. What a blessing. I didn't know I was going to have 6 children. I just knew that my job was to have these amazing individuals.

You know as a mom you think you have children to raise them, but really they raise you!

I know that everyday I am truly living a life of amazing experience, not always easy but worth it.

My Own Strengths.

In December of 2006 I was diganosed with Obesessive Complusive Disorder. When I realized completely what I was faced with. I didn't feel that I needed to ask why me? I just told myself their were reasons I was handed this trial. I was where I was. I needed to have faith and to act upon it. At that point I had to put my trust in the Lord and say to myself, that he was the only one who knew exactly what I was going through. He not only knew he felt it. I can't say how long I have lived with it. I just know it has been the majority of my life. I am grateful I have made the decisions I have made. Truly it has made me who I am.

My most strengthing quote is a quote from a mom I knew. "It is not the trial itself. It is how we endure the trial".

Those Who Got Me Through!

Anyone who gets dignosed with a mental condition, let alone a mental disorder could understand that it is not that easy for the individual themselfs. Let alone the family that lives with the one who has the disorder or condition. I just wanted to publicly thank those who stood by me.

My Savior My Brother - The attoinment is real.

Walter, my otherhalf. I thank you for being true and honest. Loving me unconditionaly, standing by myself. Helping me everyway through this. As a husband, best friend, father to our children. I LOVE YOU...

My children - Kassidy, Allie, Nicholas, Carter, Cowan & Saige. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom. Allowing me the opportunity to try everyday to be better. Knowing I am not perfect, but having faith in me that I was going to make it. You guys are the best of me.. Sincerely, Mom

Papa Walt - For all those nights you stayed up with me and allowed me to vent. To sort through all those emotions. Always being their for me. Truly loving me for me.

Sy & Sayre - Thanks for always being there. For being patient, understanding and loving. You guys are great!

It is amazing of how we all contribute to something, we need to make sure it is a positive contribution.

Choices

Choices - we all are here upon this earth to make our own choices. Own our own choices. Be responsible for them. Then it happens where one or more of our choices have caused or affected someone. No matter who, what, where, when or why. Can we all stand with certainty and say that when we have hurt or afflicted someone or something well that was our choice! Is it that easy. Or do we not care or even try to be empathetic. Maybe it is a defence mechanisms. The sad thing is some of us have been victims of someone elses choices.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

OCD - is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety, or by a combination of such thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions). Symptoms may include repetitive handwashing; extensive hoarding: preoccupation with sexual or aggressive impulses, or with particular religious beliefs; aversion to odd numbers; and nervous habits, such as opening a door and closing it a certain number of times before one enters or leaves a room. These symptoms can be alienating and time - consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and come across to others as psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their thoughts and subsequent actions as irrational, and they may become further distressed by this realization.

OCD is the fourth-most-common mental disorder, and is dignosed nearly as often as asthma and diabetes mellitus. In the United States, one in 50 adults has OCD. The phrase "obsessive-compulsive" has become part of the English lexicon, and is often used in an informal or caricatured manner to describe someone who is meticulous, perfectionistic, absorbed in a cause, or otherwise fixated on something or someone. Although these signs may be present in OCD, a person who exhibits them does not necessarily have OCD, and may instead have obsessive - compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), an autism spectrum disorder, or no clinical condition. Multiple psychological and biological factors may be involved in causing obsessive - complusive syndromes.

OBSESSIONS - Instrustive thoughts

A typical person with OCD performs tasks, or compulsions, to seek relief from obsession-related anxiety. Within and among individuals, the initial obsessions, or intrusive thoughts, can vary in their clarity and vividness. A relatively vague obsession could involve a general sense of disarray or tension, accompanied by a belief that life cannot proceed as normal while the imbalance remains. Some people with OCD experience suexual obsessions that may involve instusive thoughts or images. Furthermore, the doubt that accompanies OCD leads to uncertainty regarding whether one might act on the troubling thoughts, resulting in self-criticism or self-loathing.

COMPULSIONS - Compulsive behavior

While some people with OCD perform compulsive rituals because they inexplicably feel they must, others act compulsively so as to mitigate the anxiety that stems from particular obsessive thoughts. The person with OCD might feel that these actions somehow either will prevent a dreaded event from occurring, or will push the event from their thoughts. In any case, the individual's reasoning is so idiosyncratic or distorted that it results in significant distress for the individual with OCD or for those around them. Excessive skin picking (i.e., dermatillomania) or hair plucking (i.e.,trichotillomania) and nail biting (i.e., onychophagia) are all on the Obsessive - Compulsive Spectrum. Individuals with OCD are aware that their thoughts and behavior are not rational, but they feel bound to comply wit them to fen off feelings of panic or dread.

Some common compulsions include counting specific things ( such as footsteps) or in specific ways (for instance, by intervals of two) and doing other repetitive actions, often with atypical sensitivity to numbers and patterns. People might repeatedly wash their hands or clear their throughts, makein sure certain items are in a straight line, repeatedly check that their parked cars have been locked before leaving them, constantly organizing in a certain way, turn lights on and off, keep doors closed at all times, touch objects a certain number of times before exiting a room, walk in a certain routine way like only stepping on a certain color of tile, or have a routine for using stairs, such as always finishing a flight on the same foot.

People rely on complusions as an escape from their obsessive thoughts; however, they are aware that the relief is only temporary, that the intrustive thoughts will soon come back. Some people use compulsions to avoid situations that may trigger their obsessions. Althought some people do certain things over and over again, they don't necessarily perfom these actions compulsively. Whether or not behaviors are compulsions or mere habit depends on the context in which the behaviors are performed. Put another way, if the activity helps bring efficiency to one's life, it is probably a habit, if it interferes with one's normal enjoyment of life, it is problably a compulsion.

In addition to the anxiety and fear teh typically accompanies OCD, some people may spend hours perfoming such tasks (i.e., compulsions) every day. In such situations it can be hard for the person to fulfill their work, family, or social roles. In some cases, these behaviors can also cause adverse physical symptoms. For example, people who obsessively wash their hands with antibacterial soap and hot water to remove what they consider to be contamination can make their skin red and raw with dermatitis.

ETIOLOGY

Scholars generally agree that both psychological and biological factors play a role in causing the disorder, although they differ in their degree of emphasis upon either type of factor.

PSYCHOLOGICAL

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric anxiety disorder that includes distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or " rituals") to neutralize the obsessions. Obsessions are usually upsetting and the compulsions lead to temporary feelings of relief. To be diagnosed with obessive-compulsive disorder, one must have either obessions or compulsions alone, or obsessions and compulsions together, but most people with OCD have both.

Together I have grown!

Able to Stand.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Distance!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Gratitude!

Those Who Got Me Through!

I am Water

Me!

Aquarium

Choices

Good Times

Favorite Books